Of Wild Horses and Liars

In the last millennium, when I was in high school, a friend’s girlfriend lived down a long rural road past a horse farm. Driving her home late at night on the unlit road, a horse came out of nowhere, over a fence directly into the path of his car. The force of the impact pushed the beast right over the hood and through the windshield. The accident was traumatic, the couple hospitalized, the car totaled, the horse dead. A year later, in his new car, he was driving her home and it happened again. A horse escaped from the barn, jumped a fence directly into the road. New car totaled. The driver both times was conducting himself in a completely appropriate and law abiding manner. The general response to the situation was “OMG, what bad luck!”.

Several young women of my acquaintance have recently encountered philandering consorts.  From my perspective, the situation is similar. The young women are going about their lives in a completely appropriate manner. They encountered a suitable young man, in the course of the relationship their hopes were crashed. In the course of discussing these situations with others, I discovered there seemed to be a tendency to look for inciting factors on the part of the young women.

Aside from property damage versus personal injury, another difference is no one blamed the driver for his bad luck. Clearly if a horse jumps the fence into a car, the driver has no control over the situation. Even if it happens twice on the same road, the driver is not at fault; the driver had no control over the horse’s actions. When men tell women lies and jump the fence into another bed, our society tends to blame the victim. “She must have done something to cause the philandering” or at the very least “she must have bad taste in men”. Reversing the gender roles, a young man would be afforded sympathy and the lying consort labeled a tramp.

Everyone has the right and reasonable expectation for trust. The onus is on the deceiver and the not the deceived, irrelevant of gender.

To Butt or Not to Butt In

Here is a quandary of which I have been considering since yesterday and would like your opinions... 

Yesterday I needed to run some errands, which included stopping in a local big box retailer. While I was walking up to the entrance i passed an elderly woman. She was moving very slowly supporting herself with a rolling shopping cart. Clearly suffering with kyphosis, she appeared to have related coordination / mobility issues. Never the less she was maintaining her independence, doing her own shopping without assistance. Her attire was a simple sweat shirt and sweat pants; the elastic waist pants were beginning to slide down. As she leaned over the cart a crescent of skin had been exposed. Walking past her I thought to myself, "she surely would be embarrassed by this display but would also be embarrassed if I mentioned it to her". At the entrance she sat down in a motor shopping cart which effectively concealed her attire malfunction.

They intend to make a spectacle of themselves.

Coincidentally as I was departing the store, she was  directly in front of me. She was waiting in line, again standing and supported by a cart. Unfortunately   her pants had dropped low enough for a considerable amount of her intergluteal cleft to be on display. It was a lot of skin and the exposure was progressing as she moved forward. Plumbers and Vegas showgirls would have been embarrassed to make such a show of themselves in the checkout line.

Without really thinking I came up behind her, as gently and discreetly as possible grasped her waistband and pulled up her trousers, saying quietly "I just know you don't want to lose your pants." The elderly woman nodded but did not look at me nor say anything. The sales-check did glance at me and mouthed "Thank you".

Did I do the right thing to intervene or should I have minded my own business? In such a situation would you want people to ignore your problem or assist you?

Tradition?

November through February is the Holiday Season to me. Friend and family birthdays begin and end with the conventional holidays sandwiched in between.  

Just before Thanksgiving someone asked “what were your family holiday traditions?” After a moment’s thought, I realized we had none. We weren’t Jehovah’s Witnesses, who do not believe in celebrating holidays or birthdays. Ostensibly we did celebrate both public and religious holidays and certainly birthdays. The problem was we just didn’t actually do anything celebratory.

There were birthday gifts but there were gifts at other times. There were holiday presents but those presents were likely to be purchased in your presence and/or distributed at random. Thanksgiving was celebrated, if at all, by dinner at the Country Club. Given my Mother’s notorious cooking skills we were frequent guests at their buffet through the year. Religious Holidays I recall, were occasionally spent at relatives or with the congregation, but usually they were discussed in passing.

At some point in this vacuum, I began to observe and often participate in other people’s traditions. Most of them were not representative of my ethnic group or religious culture. As a result I began to make up my own traditions in keeping with my personal attitudes and reconstructionist theology.

Organized religion seems an oxymoron to me but still celebrate the milestones of my culture. On the day of atonement, I fast and read my prayer book; once while on a camping trip. On Passover my goy Husband officially owns any yeast in the house, while I eschew bread for the 8 days. We usually have a big Seder at which I have often been the sole Jew and my Husband asks the four questions. When my Father was alive, long discussions of numerology often delayed the final meal, but we always consumed the full complement of glasses of wine. When my Daughter was a small child, we began a tradition of candles and exchanging a small present each evening of Chanukah. Coming up with eight small items you have to think. And it truly is the thought that counts.

And my favorite special event  - - Thanksgiving!  Perhaps it is the notion of giving thanks, as I have always felt fortunate. It was at Thanksgiving that we received word that the adoption of our adored Daughter was final; that she was truly and indelibly ours. Or, that it often falls on the Thursday prior to my birthday [everyone is giving thanks for me!] Or maybe I just like an excuse for a big, big dinner party.

For thirty plus years we have lived in and celebrated Thanksgiving at 1311, the house which will shortly be sold. There are pictures of random groups around the Thanksgiving dinner table. Candid shots with the fork half-way to the mouth or the eyes half-closed with laughter. Photos of dear family and friends who are gone and dearly missed, my Mom with her infectious giggle & my Dad in a rare moment, content. I will not miss this house or this city but I will miss those Thanksgivings.

Our Holiday open door policy means there are also photos of those of whom we say, who was that and what ever happened to them?

It was just before Thanksgiving that we received a phone call from a young man who was affiliated with a group called “the World for Free”, a practice now known as couch surfing. He was from Britain wandering through the US and would we put him up for a couple of nights? Ever open to unexpected guests, we said “sure” and introduced him around. He stayed with us over Thanksgiving, then a few days on a friend’s boat and finally with another friend who offered to drive him to his pre-dawn flight.

In the middle of the night his random host experienced terrible pains and could not get out of bed. The only reason he was not alone and isolated was because of his offer to drive the young Englishman to the airport for hiss pre-dawn flight home. His guest hearing the moans of pain checked on his host and called for an ambulance. As the young man flew back to England [someone else drove] our friend was in emergency surgery for a ruptured femoral artery. The Brit never realized that his presence had saved someone’s life.

Perhaps, it is the random moments that give the best reason to give thanks. Certainly, the it is the decision say “yes” and help in random circumstances which is the best tradition to maintain.

Oscar’s Hat

from the 2012 film “Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close”

made for Thomas Horn and understudies

finished size:  20" - 22" in circumference

& 10" -11" tall depending on blocking

Materials:  

Needles:

US size 1 2.25 mm 16" circular needles or equivalent DPNS/magic loop/two circulars

Yarn: 

One skein of Elspeth Lavold Silky Wool, 45% Wool, 35% Silk, 20% Nylon in Grey, color 80

[main color  / MC]

.25 skein (under 50 yards) of Brown Sheep Nature Spun Sport, 100% wool in Yellow [contrast color / CC]

Notions:

Yarn needle

small clips or pins for blocking

paint can or wire coat hanger as blocking form

Method:

Cast on 100 stitches with grey yarn using the long tail cast on or another non-bulky stretchy cast on. Join stitches for circular knitting taking care not to twist the cast on row. Place two markers on the first cast on stitch. Do not move one of these  markers carry the other along as you reach the beginning of the row for each subsequent row.  Knit nine rows, purl one, knit another nine, change to yellow, picked up cast-on row stitches while knitting contrast row to form cuff, continue for five sets of two rows of yellow alternated with 10 rows of grey on last grey row pass one stitch over the next to reduce stitches by half then run yarn through the remaining stitches to gather the top. Weave in yarn ends. Block hat and hem casing by pulling over a paint can and flower mesh or make a wire frame and hold hat to wires with hair clips or pins.

R1 - R9 with MC, k

R10 p

R11 - R20 k

R21 tie on CC, match R21 first stitch with R1 first stitch, k picking up one loop from the cast on row with each knit stitch.

R22 with CC k

R23 - 32 with MC, k

R33 - R34 with CC, k

R35 - R44 with MC,k

R45 - R46 with CC, k

R47 - R55 with MC, k

R56 *s1 psso k1* to end

Break yarn with approximately 12" tail. Thread yarn needle and pass tail through all stitches and cinch tight. Weave in ends. 

 

Blocking:

Paint Can option: 

Dampen hat and pull over a paint can or similar cylindrical object hold in place with a tube of netting or attach clips around the bottom edge for a clean edge. Place five equidistant clips around the top of hat to form pleats.

  

Coat hanger option: 

Shape a wire coat hanger to the exact dimensions desired, bending  the cross bar into a “u”shape for the crown of the hat and folding in the shoulder supports to form the hem of the hat. Dampen hat and attach the hat all the way around with clips. Use five clips to form the equidistant pleats at the crown. The coat hanger hook provides a convenient way to hang the hat while drying.

 Oscar’s Vest

from the 2012 film

“Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close”

Original design for Thomas Horn in Boys size 8

Materials: 

Notions: two Stitch holders or scrap yarn, one stitch marker, yarn needle

Needle: 3.5 mm circular needle plus and extra needles for three-needle bindoff

Yarn: As shown Plymouth Yarns Encore Worsted

Main color 1 skein of 194 [grey]; Contrast color 1, .5 skein of 7120 [ombre blue/green]; and Contrast color 2, .5 skein of 7128 [ombre red/rust].

Woven stitch three color stripe

(even number of sts; 8 row rep)

Rnd 1:with CC1 Knit.

Rnd 2: with CC1* K1, sl 1 wyif; rep from *.

Rnd 3: with MC Knit.                                

Rnd 4: with MC *Sl 1 wyif, k1; rep from *.

Rnd 5: with CC2 Knit.

Rnd 6: with CC2 *K1, sl 1 wyif; rep from *.

Rnd 7: with MC Knit.                                

Rnd 8: with MC *Sl 1 wyif, k1; rep from *.

Rep rnds 1-8 for Woven Stitch Stripe.

Color sequence, as shown:  two rows of 7120 [ombre blue/green] , two rows of 194 [grey], two rows of 7128 [ombre red/rust], two rows of 194 [grey].

Method:

Waist ribbing and body:  Using grey, Cast on 120 stitches in Old Norwegian or your preferred cast on. Connect the two ends of the cast on for knitting in the round taking care not to twist the work. Knit 15 rows of 1 x 1 rib. Attach blue/green and begin woven stitch in the color described sequence. Do not cut the yarn, carry the yarn up the side twisting yarn together at each color change.

After 6.5 inches in pattern split for front and back. Place all half the stitches on holder or scrap yarn, this will become the garment front. Continue working as flat knitting in pattern working back and forth  

Back of garment armhole shaping: Bind off four stitches at row beginning followed by one stitch each row and then one bound off every four rows.

Front of garment armhole shaping: Bind off four stitches at row beginning followed by one stitch each row and then one bound off every four rows.

                                                                                     

Front of garment V-neck shaping:  On row eleven split for right and left front, placing half the stitches on holder or scrap yarn. Bind off two stitches adjacent to the split, then maintain an even edge to shoulder. binding off one stitch every four rows while continuing armhole shaping. 

Shoulder shaping applies to both front and back of garment: Bind off one stitch on the armhole side for four times. Do not bind off stitches remaining on the needles. Place live stitches on scrap yarn or holder while you complete the remainder of the garment. Once both front and back are complete place live stitches back on needles, picking up four stitches at the armhole side above the bound off stitches. Close shoulder seam using a three-needle bind off.

Armhole edging: Pickup ninety stitches, placing a stitch marker at bottom center. Knit the picked up stitches in 1 x 1 rib with a double decrease on the second and fourth row for five rows of rib

Row 1, 3 &5:   k1p1

Row 2, 4: [k1 p1] to marker sl1 k2tog psso [k1p1]

Bind off and weave in yarn tail

Neckline edging: Pickup 3 stitches for every four rows, placing a stitch marker at bottom center. Knit the picked up stitches in 1 x 1 rib with a double decrease at the marker on each row.

Row 1, 2, 3, 4 & 5: [k1 p1] to marker sl1 k2tog psso [k1p1]

Bind off and weave in yarn tail